the ugly monster rears her head yet again…

I know you never thought you’d see the day that I posted twice in one day… but here it is, folks!!!

As you all know, Mothers and Fathers alike are breathing a sigh of relief nowadays. And it’s all because the kiddos are back in school (insert: “Hallelujah Choir”). I have to give the teachers credit – they take these kids who are fresh from summer break (ie. lots of sleep, swimming pools, candy, beach sand, tons of sun and tons of play time) and mold them into a normal school-going kid… all the while being patient in the process. I could never do it – I have a hard enough time with my 2 (much less someone else’s child). That being said, we’re back to our annual game of “let’s second-guess Abby’s ADHD medication”. Sounds like fun, huh?

This summer, her Dad and I decided to take her off the meds to give us a break from trying to force it down her throat every morning medicating her little body into a zombie-like state that’s conducive to learning. It’s sad, but she honestly behaved better OFF the medicine than she does ON it, but she has to have it to be able to sit still and concentrate during the school day. We started back giving it to her the Monday before school started on Thursday and immediately noticed a difference in her mood swings. OH HOLY HELL – WHERE DID THIS CHILD COME FROM? She has started screaming, throwing fits, slamming doors, acting ugly, etc. since then. She didn’t do that at all very much at all this summer. From the time she gets home from school to the time she goes to bed, it’s a constant battle about something (homework, what’s for dinner, tv, bath, WHATEVER) and we’re sick of it. There’s got to be something else out there that she can take that won’t cause her body to go into “DT’s” when it works its way out of her system! Can’t anybody help us? We’ve got an appt. with her doctor (the one that specializes in behavioral stuff and ADD/ADHD) Friday, so hopefully we’ll get some answers (or at least some comfort that we’re not the only ones going through this). I just hate switching her meds every 6-9 months. I don’t mind experimenting on myself, but Abby’s been on 3 different ADHD meds in 2 years!

Sorry, I would’ve posted a pic of the kids, but my camera is still broken. Yes, that’s a bottle of pills… Is it Abby’s medicine? Is it my crazy “Mommy’s little helper” pills? Well, I’ll just leave you to your own assumptions.

EDITED: Wait, I DID find some pictures Abbys Dad sent me of them on the first day of school. Look how sweet…

Maggie lovin’ on Abby before Dad takes them to school…

Abby sitting at her 2nd grade sesk for the very first time. Sniff**

pencil me in…

There can not be a crisis today; my schedule is already full

- Henry Kissinger

Mornings have always been a source of confusion and strife around here. Whether the girls don’t want to get up or they can’t decide what to wear or they want to watch 5 more minutes of cartoons… there was always a problem and we were rushing out the door (and I’m usually late for work). Our old schedule looked something like this:

6:00, I roll out of bed after hitting the snooze for 30 minutes and get in the shower

6:45, I take the dog out and feed her

7:00, I wake the girls up and start fussing with them about what they do and don’t want to wear

7:30, both girls are dressed (partially) and I throw some poptarts or cereal on the table. I make lunch while they eat.

7:45, we’re brushing teeth and taking medicine. Forget about fixing hair… we’re lucky if they are clean.

7:50, if we’re LUCKY, we’re out the door – destined to be late yet again.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Not anymore. I had enough and came up with a new schedule that seems to be working pretty well. Abby thrives on consistency (that’s the ADHD monster inside her) and I decided to help her out as much as possible. Thus, our new morning schedule (keep in mind that we now pick out clothes and I pack Abby’s lunchbox the night before):

5:30, Mom gets up and in the shower.

6:15, Mom wakes Abby up to watch morning cartoons and Mom takes Belle out

6:30, Mom feeds Belle and the fish and starts breakfast. Abby finishes last minute homework (if needed)

6:45, Abby gets dressed and Mom wakes Maggie to dress her

7:00, Breakfast is on the table

7:20, Abby takes her medicine. Both girls go to the bathroom, brush teeth and Mom fixes their hair.

7:30, turn off tv, gather books and lunchbox, put on coats and get ready to go.

7:40, Out the Door!

What a difference a schedule makes! It’s almost like a demand… it’s written down, so we HAVE to do it. Abby’s all into following it as closely as possible now too. It’s a big celebration if we’re gone before 7:40… like we’ve BEAT the timer (so to speak). The other day, we left early enough that I got to run by the station to get the girls some juice on the way to school, dropped them off and I STILL had time to run by Starbucks on the way to work.

It just goes to show that a little planning definitely goes a long way!

temper tantrum terminator?

No children were harmed in the making of this picture…

Tell me, would this be unethical? Seriously. Maybe I can put this through rigorous testing and sell it. Well, I’d sell a much nicer version – this one was made out of desparation tonight (and was way too easily ripped off). I truly believe this could be many a Mother’s “savior”… the Mommy Muzzle. No that sounds like your’re silencing the Mother. Um, what about the Child Silencer or the Brat Helmet or the Temper Tantrum Terminator? Hmmm, maybe the marketing firm I’ll hire can come up with a better name. Seriously, we put bark collars on our dogs to make them shut-up, why can’t we get a bit of help in the kid department too? Better than a muzzle, they have those bark collars that spray a mist of something in the dog’s face if he barks… I’ll just start carrying around a spray bottle in my purse and when I’ve had enough – a good ‘ol SQUIRT in the face should do the trick! Right? No?

adhd update…

On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time.

George Orwell

Yes, it’s about time for an update on Abby’s ADHD. We haven’t done one of these in ages and quite a lot has happened in the past few months! If you remember, earlier this year Abby was diagnosed with ADHD. We had thought she was a bit defiant or had hyperactivity problems or was just going through a phase. Well, after meeting with a child psychologist/therapist and several doctors, we got her tested and found out it was in fact ADHD. We always knew Abby was different than other kids. She’s a big thinker, can remember anything and everything and is extremely smart… but she’s always had a problem “letting go” of things. She’s not good with opposition. After several tries with different medications, we settled on 20mg of Metadate (10 hour) and it did the trick. She was no longer having trouble concentrating in school, she was more in control and wasn’t hollering out in class, her handwriting improved and her teacher said she was (pretty much) the model student! She ended the year at the top of her class and we even got an invitation to test for the gifted program here in town (which she got accepted into).

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

Henry David Thoreau

We kept Abby on her 20 mg of Metadate throughout the summer and had very few troubles out of her. In fact, she almost seemed like a zombie on the weekends. Totally not like her. We spoke with the doctors and figured we’d try a smaller dose of the Metadate on the weekends, to see if she maybe needs the larger dose at school, but just needs a little “help” on the weekends when she’s at home. I got this new perscription filled last night, so I’ll let you know how it goes this weekend.

School has been in session for about a month now and Abby’s doing great! She excels in every subject (but needs a bit of help with her reading b/c it’s a concentration issue) and is also doing well in the gifted program. She’s getting tons of sleep at night, is eating well and is making new friends daily. The week school started is the week I moved out of the house and this actually didn’t affect the girls badly at all. They came with me the first week so Abby could be with Mommy the first week of school and we got along great! The next week they were with their Dad and I think he said they had a great week there too. Well, the next week I had her (and subsequent visits too), I noticed she was slipping back into some of her classic ADHD issues. She’s gotten more and more determined (slightly hostile) that she wants what she wants when she wants it… like when she gets something in her head, she can’t get it out. It doesn’t matter if it’s something she physically wants or if she doesn’t want to take a bath or read a certain book. She has started being more defiant toward us, demanding stuff of us – not wanting to help around the house and wanting to lay around watching tv all the time. At night, during bathtime especially, she has started acting hyper and a bit whiny… almost like she did before we started the meds.

You know you’re ADD when you look like you’re on speed, but you’re not, but you should be, and if you were you wouldn’t look like you were…..

From the HADD-IT website

I know these are things we’re going to have to work on – she keeps us constantly on our toes… but that being said, I think it’s time for another visit to her therapist. Maybe she can help us distinguish between the divorce and ADHD issues. Are they different? Are they one-in-the-same? Does one problem feed off another? All I know is that Abby is a sweet, funny, quirky little girl who is a lot of fun to be around. She is a born leader and is always the life of every party… We just need to get this under control before she self-destructs!

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.
Coco Chanel